The UN-Holiday Gift Guide

I seriously LOVE Christmas.  What is there not to enjoy?  I like my family, both sides even, and I enjoy spending time with the people I love.  Throw in amazing food by the bucket-full and a few (ok, sometimes more than a few) adult beverages and you have the recipe for a good time in my book.  That said, IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS YET.  I have one hard and fast Holiday rule, "No Christmas Before Thanksgiving".  So to all of you all full of Holiday Spirit and ready to share your Best Gift Ideas right now, I say WHY?  Relax!

Our Holiday Gift Guide will run daily from Black Friday until Christmas Eve day.....  Until then, here is my list of gifts NOT to give to the people you love, especially if they actually like to spend time outdoors.

Nose and Ear Hair Trimmers:  Practical is Insulting:  Ladies, if your guy doesn't care enough to trim the hair pouring our of every orifice of his body, he probably never will, so just let it go.  Guys, are you freaking crazy? Giving this to your gal, it might as well be wrapped in divorce papers...

Free T-Shirts:  Running low on ideas for your cousin Bobby?  Here's a quick tip.  If you are going to get someone a "funny" t-shirt, at least go out and pay for it.  Wrapping up something you got free with a carton of smokes or a case of beer does not constitute a present.  Don't be such a cheap ass!

Snooty Camp Kitchen Gear:  I enjoy wine in the back country as much as anyone, but who the hell needs a stainless steel wine glass when sitting by the campfire.  My coffee mug and when I'm really, um... thirsty, my Nalgene bottle seem to work fine.  If you are going to climb back into your RV for the night when it's over, OK maybe, but really?  And just forget about martinis and margaritas, save those for the bar when you make your way back to civilization.  MSRP: Who cares?

Stuff for their "Home":  The only place this stuff should be is in the trash.  Leave the home decorating to the people that actually own the home. Your "beautiful" snow globe, or ice skating figurine will look great on YOUR shelf.  Unless you are trying to spruce up your buddy's room at the Psych Ward, leave this crap on the shelf and keep looking...

The Go-Girl: Hate having to stop because your lady friend has to use the bathroom again? Want to guarantee that your wife or girlfriend will never go camping with you again?   Give her the Go-Girl, the portable female urination device...  In the off chance she doesn't already think you are an insensitive dirtbag, this will prove it to her.  Available in Pink or a far more rustic Khaki with a Camouflage tube...  $12.99

If you are looking for real ideas, check back a week from now. We have a bunch of really great ideas for ya'...  Have a good weekend!

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